Divorce Tips for Grandparents

 Posted on April 19, 2024 in Divorce

Finding grounds for divorce during the grandparenting stage of life is known as “gray divorce.” It is increasingly normal for older adults to choose to end their marriages. While there are a lot of resources for parents who will need to help their minor children cope with the divorce, there is less guidance available for older adults who will need to tell their grown children and grandchildren that they are divorcing. Many grandparents enjoy spending holidays and special occasions, like grandchild birthdays, with their extended families. You will need to develop a new strategy for planning larger family events like reunions. A Novi, MI divorce lawyer can help you and your spouse strategize for handling future family events.

Tips for Managing the Family Dynamic After Gray Divorce 

Your divorce may come as a surprise to your adult children and grandchildren. Some tips for maintaining strong family relationships after gray divorce include:

• Plan for holidays - Getting divorced might mean that your adult children will need to alternate spending major holidays with you and your spouse. It is best to create a plan for future holidays. If you have two adult children with their own families, consider having one of you visit your son for Thanksgiving while the other visits your daughter. Or, take turns seeing the children and grandchildren for major holidays.
• Keep a civil rapport - There will likely be once-in-a-lifetime occasions where both of you will want to be there for your grandchildren, such as their high school graduations. If possible, try to keep an amicable relationship so that you can see each other at these events without causing disruption. 
• Slowly introduce new partners - If you start seeing a new romantic partner, gradually introduce them to your children and grandchildren. Start with short visits and give your family time to adjust to your being with someone else. In time, your grandchildren may start seeing your new partner as a bonus grandparent. 
• Discuss your estate plans - When you are dividing your retirement savings and other marital property, it would be prudent to also discuss how your divorce will affect your estate plans and how certain property should be distributed among your children and grandchildren as each of you eventually passes. Some spouses who divorce during their old age keep each other as beneficiaries with the joint goal of ultimately passing property on to their children and grandchildren. 

Contact an Oakland County, MI Gray Divorce Attorney

Elkouri Heath, PLC is committed to helping grandparents get divorced while maintaining strong relationships with their children and grandchildren. Our dedicated Novi, MI divorce lawyers have been helping families in southeastern Michigan for more than 23 years. Contact us at 248-344-9700 for a complimentary consultation.