3 Tips for Having the “Divorce Talk” With Your Children

 Posted on October 17, 2019 in Divorce

If you and your spouse have decided to end your marriage, one of your greatest fears may be telling your children that you plan to divorce. It is very possible that your children will remember the moment they learned about the divorce for the rest of their lives. Needless to say, it is important for parents to plan this discussion carefully and take steps to make the conversation go as smoothly as possible. Fortunately, much research has been done regarding the best ways to tell children about divorce. Read on to learn about the most common advice experts give parents for how to break the news of their impending divorce to their children.

Reassure Children That the Divorce Is Not Their Fault

Children are naturally egocentric. Because of this, they may assume that they somehow caused the divorce. This is especially true if the children have heard their parents arguing about parenting concerns in the past. Even if they do not say it outright, they may be secretly concerned that if they had behaved better or made different choices, that maybe their parents would be staying together. It is important for parents to remind children that the adults have made this decision for their own reasons and that it is in no way the kids’ fault.

Do Not Overshare

Parents should be careful not to share too many details about why the marriage is ending. Even if only one parent wanted the divorce, it may be best to imply that the divorce was a mutual decision. Otherwise, children may feel like they have to choose sides, which can be very disturbing and upsetting to them. Most experts suggest parents keep any information about infidelity or other deceptions private between themselves. Knowing too much can cause children to feel even more anxiety regarding the divorce than they might already have.

Encourage Your Children to Talk and Ask Questions

A divorce can be a very complex process. Your children may have several questions about what will happen after the divorce. They may want to know if they will still get to spend time with their best friend or attend the same school. They may also wonder how birthdays and holidays will be handled in addition to parenting time schedules. These are all valid queries, especially if the custodial parent wishes to relocate. You may not have the answers to all of their questions, but allowing an open dialogue to exist between you will help them work through their feelings over time.

Contact an Oakland County Divorce Lawyer

The Novi, MI family law attorneys at Elkouri Heath, PLC have helped countless families with various divorce-related issues, including those related to child custody, parenting time, child support, spousal support, property division, and more. Our attorneys have over 23 years of legal experience, and we take pride in offering unique, personalized solutions to family law disputes. To learn how we can help you with your divorce proceedings, call our office today at 248-344-9700 and schedule a free, confidential consultation.

Sources:
https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/how-to-tell-your-kids-youre-getting-divorced/
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/children-and-divorce.htm